I LIVE, I LAUGH, I LOVE

So as I sit here and sorta fb stalk my ex…. (Mostly just looking at his page… we’re not friends so I cant see anything but his new friends… LOL) I think, “I should have just known he was full of shit from the beginning.” Over the last few weeks, I have had this attitude that I am just DONE with men… Not just angry… lonely… or waiting for a good man to find me, I am done. If a guy even so much as smiles at me like he’s trying to flirt I get pissed off. Don’t waist my fucking time. I didn’t even flirt with the cute waiter the other night when I was out for drinks with my friends.. He was cute… But also a waist of time. After this year, I feel it will take me a while to have the desire to want to date again… men lie… women lie… whats the fucking point…. Everyone ends up busted and disgusted in the end. At almost 27 years old, I have a wonderful life. My own apartment, car, a good job, and a bunch of lil bad girls running around Austin that look forward to seeing me every week. I also have my family (some of them), My friends, my small groups and my sorority sisters… Who needs trifling Negros that will do nothing but bring you drama and heart ache. On those lonely nights, I been grabbing my pillow for 27 years and I will continue to do so for prob the next 10 years. This is not a man bashing blog….. More like a I feel free blog. Free from the desire to have a male in my life. Now for you stupid fella’s… cause some of y’all are dumb… this does not mean I want to be your damn booty call. So stay out my fb chat and texting me.. My anti relationship mind frame has come from years of being disappointed, let down, ran over, used, abused, ect… I have never felt this free.. but I will say it feels good!

2 months later, and I’m still creeping around 250. I just don’t understand. I amped up my workouts, I’m making sure I’m measuring my food and drinking enough water, I just don’t get it. I don’t want to do anything extreme to lose this last 50 pounds. It’s fucking annoying me because everyone seems to have their own little quick fix that they promise will work and get me over my hump… Either its a magical shake diet… some ind of fast, a 90 day challenge, taking fake pregnancy hormones…. I mean people are really trying to talk me into some ridiculous stuff.. That cannot be the only way to lose weight! I refuse to do anything crazy and un natural. I’m not interested in the 2012 version of slim fast… LOL! I dunno….. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing…. focusing on getting healthy overall… not trying to rush this last 50 pounds off.